Wednesday, June 11, 2025
When The Inner Child's Dead, Soul's Also Dead
By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam
11 June 2025
"The more you grow old, the more you must realise that it's unbecoming of you to behave in a fretful way."
Inscribed at the entrance of an old home in Scotland
'Gar Budhapa Aata Hai Toh Aane Do
Apne Andar Ke Tifl Ko Na Marne Do
Anon
(Let the old age come; don't let the child within die)
Whenever I visit orphanages, I love to spend more time with the kids out there, rather than with the forever complaining and eternally fretful old people living the rest of their lives at old homes. That doesn't mean that I'm scornful of the old people. I sympathise with them, but I empathise with the children.
The disarming innocence of children is something that you don't get to see among the old people, who're often (justifiably or unjustifiably) cynical. I remember two incidents with a tinge of joy and dejection. A few months ago, I went to an orphanage and distributed sweets among the children and from there I went to a nearby old home and distributed sweets there as well. When I went there next time, almost all old people told me that the sweets were stale and some were discourteous enough to tell me that they threw away the sweets, whereas all children were so happy and thanked me profusely. None of them had stomach upset after consuming my 'stale' sweets. It may have been stale, but I shouldn't have been told and reminded of it by the inmates of the old home.
But, the poor children with almost no education had that in-built courtesy to tell me that what I gifted them was so delicious and finger-licking. I'm sure, a few of the older children may have found the sweets to be slightly stale but they didn't dishearten me. There're so many things we can learn from the kids. The most important being their innocence and transparency. Every child is like an angel, devoid of any mundane and materialistic concerns.
Once we grow up, we all tend to become worldly and also a bit crooked. That pristine innocence of childhood paves the way for worldly considerations. Insulated from the knavery of the outside world, a child has his/ her own sphere. He's always happy and thankful. But the moment the same child grows up and comes into contact with the dishonest world, he / she too becomes like others. One, therefore, should never let the child in him/ her die. Because ' when the inner child's dead, the soul's also dead ' (Rabindranath Tagore).
Now the question is: How to keep the inner child alive. The inner child can be kept alive even after you grow up, provided you know how to protect the child within you. To do that, it needs a lot of experience and exposure to varied situations from the best to the worst. There are two categories who can have the child within - children themselves and the people who are searching for the truth.
The truth-seeking people always take every situation and the people involved in those situations as just a phase, learn from it, let it go and move on. Hence they don't cling on to grudges or frustrations. A seeker of truth is also very detached. He is content every moment. He does not look forward to gaining, nor is he afraid to lose. Most importantly, he is not self-obsessed. He is not madly in love with his own self. He likes seeing outside of him. When you see yourself as a third person and observe, you will realise that there's so much within you to change that you have no time left to complain against anyone else. This takes maturity and time and a range of experiences. Even a normal household person can have a similar transition. He can try to give the best to his family while continuously working on himself. It is not easy but no good things come easy! The constant realization that one keeps learning till the end also helps an individual, esp. an age-wise senior person, how to retain the non-judgemental innocence and clarity.
When a child is happy, he smiles. When he is not, he wails. A child does not hide his disappointment and then vents out accumulated frustrations later. He is not cynical of gifts he receives. It is not because he loves the gifts, it is because he does not know there can be better gifts ! Only when you know there are better things around, you will keep wanting the better ones. The funny thing is that nothing or no one seems to be the best. There is always better than the best. Keep aspiring. No problem with that but, at least enjoy what you have now. You can't let each moment of your life just go, thinking that the next will be better.
It is easy to be like a child provided you know how to unguard yourself. This does not mean one should be a fool and let people outsmart but, what one can surely do is give your best and enjoy the chaos! There will be chaos no matter what you do. Might as well befriend the chaos right? Chaos helps you see what you do best when the worst is in front of you. It's fun ! Lastly, senior citizens should realize that old age is the second childhood in all aspects.
The great philosopher Bertrand Russell, who passed away at the age of 97, would often say, " Whenever I feel exasperated at this age, I remember that as a child, my anger and tantrums wouldn't last long. So, why should it last so long at this age and stage of my life? " All senior citizens must remember this.
Lastly, I've seen in Europe, school children routinely visit the old homes and interact with the senior citizens. It serves two purposes. While children become more empathetic towards the senior citizens, this also helps senior people retain the child in them. This should be emulated in India where senior citizens often feel neglected and marginalised. The innocent company of children can keep them in good humour.
Remember one of the biggest ironies of human life: While we tend to become judgemental with age, we don't like judgemental people!
URL: https://www.newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/inner-child-dead-soul/d/135832
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