Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Empathy Is Eternally Elusive

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam 9 July 2025 Recently, I read in a Dutch magazine that like love, spirituality and mysticism, empathy is yet another overused and much misunderstood word. This got me thinking. Sympathy has a basis but empathy is rather utopian. I quite agree with it because we can only know what we have experienced, what we have lived through personally. This highlights the inherent limitation of human perception and understanding. By emphasizing the importance of personal experience in shaping our knowledge, it points out that true comprehension arises from tangible encounters and first-hand involvement. This notion recognizes that our understanding of the world is subjective, as it is deeply influenced by our individual backgrounds, cultural contexts, and unique perspectives. We must acknowledge the inherent biases ingrained in our understanding to actively seek out diverse experiences and perspectives to broaden our horizons and foster a deeper, more comprehensive understanding of the world around us. One learns about the pain of others by suffering one's own pain. Through personal experiences of suffering, we gain a unique perspective that enables us to understand and sympathise with the pain of others. By enduring our own hardships, we become intimately acquainted with vulnerability, anguish, and the immense impact these emotions have on one's life. This first-hand knowledge allows us to transcend our own individual struggles and extend compassion to others, fostering deep connections and nurturing our capacity for profound sympathy. In essence, by experiencing and overcoming our own pain, we develop a sympathetic understanding that bridges the gap between ourselves and those who suffer, inspiring kindness, understanding, and ultimately, healing. Yet, empathy remains perennially elusive! It's an eternal will-o'-the-wisp. Humans often mistake deep sympathy for empathy. Sahir Ludhianavi put it succinctly, "Kaun Rota Hai Kisi Ki Khaatir Ae Dost/ Sab Ko Apni Hi Kisi Baat Pe Rona Aaya" (Who sheds tears for others? We weep because someone else's pain reminds us of our own pains and sad experiences). We sympathise but can never empathise even if we want to, because a sad and painful experience in life is too subjective. If a close person has lost his father, you can deeply understand his loss but you cannot feel his intimate pain. That's the reason, an etiquette columnist of ' People,' an American weekly magazine, once advised her readers, "When someone close to you loses his/her near and dear ones, please say, "I'm very sad or deeply saddened but refrain from saying, 'I'm EQUALLY sad' because you cannot be equally sad. That's a lie." Urdu poet Salik Firozabadi aptly said, "Logon Ki 'Hamdardi' Ne Mera Gham Aur Badha Diya/ Ve Khaamosh Hi Rahte Toh Behtar Tha" ('Sympathy' of people has increased my sorrow / It'd have been better had they said nothing). So very true. ----- A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian. URL: https://www.newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/empathy-eternally-elusive/d/136121 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism

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