Divorce in Western Countries No More Carries Stigma as It is Seen as a Solution, not a Problem

By S. Arshad, New Age Islam 30 August 2024 The Quran Recognised Divorce As A Means To End An Unsuccessful Marriage Main Points: 1. India has the lowest divorce rate. 1. 2.Portugal has the highest divorce rate. 2. Pakistan has 10 per cent divorce rate. 3. In Mauritania, divorce is celebrated by divorced women. ------ Marriage and divorce are two significant events in the lives of adult men. While marriage is a happy occasion, divorce is seen as a tragic and sad event in life as it marks the separation of husband and wife due to certain differences. Divorce poses many problems for both but the woman faces greater problems in society. However, divorce has become an inevitable part of every society. Every religious society has its own procedures for divorce. In some tribal societies in Bengal, the husband and wife sit with their relatives. The husband says, 'Ami Tomake Bhat Dibo Na'. ( I will not give you food) and the woman reciprocates by saying, 'Ami Tomar Bhat Nibo Na'.(I will not accept food from you). And divorce happens. In Islam, the Quranic mode of divorce is an elaborate process which will take months for the divorce to be valid but the instant triple Talaq has gained acceptance since the time of caliphate of the second caliph, Hadhrat Umar. The instant Talaq is pronounced orally which has been a topic of debate and the Muslims are often criticised for continuing this mode of divorce in modern times. However, in many Muslim and non-Muslim countries, the instant divorce has been banned and now divorce is decided by the court under due process. The instant triple Talaq has ruined many families before the Indian government banned it. Due to this unhealthy practice, the Muslims of India and generally the Muslims of the world have been ridiculed for having an irrational tradition of divorce. But as statistics from both the Muslim and non-Muslim countries on divorce emerge, it becomes evident that divorce is resorted to by both the Muslim and non-Muslim as a solution for the problem of incompatibility in a marriage. The illogical or irrational way of divorce in vogue among the Muslims may be a subject of ridicule and criticism, but not the instrument of divorce per se. Divorce is more and more accepted and recognised as a way out of a disastrous or unsuccessful marriage. Now divorce does not carry stigma with it. Instead, it is seen as a new beginning in the life for both men and women. Therefore, it is observed that divorce is more in vogue in western countries than in the Muslim society. When we take a look at the rate of divorce in the eastern and western countries, we find that the western society has become more vulnerable to the demands of the modern life and therefore, both the man and woman find it difficult to hold on to their marriage for long. The percentage of divorce in different countries is as follows: India: 1 per cent Sri Lanka : 1.5 per cent Pakistan:10 per cent Iran: 14 per cent Israel :15 per cent South Africa :17 per cent Brail:21 per cent Bangladesh:22 per cent Turkey:27 per cent Egypt :25 per cent Poland: 33 per cent Mauritania : 33 per cent Japan: 35 per cent Germany : 39 per cent New Zealand:41 per cent Britain: 42 per cent Russia :43 per cent China:44 per cent Italy :46 per cent Netherlands: 48 per cent Cuba : 50 per cent France: 51 per cent Belgium : 53 per cent United States : 54 percent Sweden: 54 per cent Ukraine : 70 per cent Luxemburg: 79 Spain: 85 per cent Portugal: 92 per cent This list shows that the high rate of divorce among the Muslims was a myth. On the contrary, the rate of divorce among Indians where the Muslims comprise about 15 per cent of the population is the lowest in the world. The reason for the low divorce rate among Indian Muslims may be the lowest divorce rate among the Hindus of India. Since, divorce is seen as a bad practice in Hindus, the Muslims also abstain from it as much as possible not to be seen as an irresponsible community. Therefore, divorce should not be associated with the practice of a particular religion but with the social outlook of a people inhabiting a region. The reason behind the higher divorce rate in the western countries is the self- reliance of the women there. Women in the west want to be more and more free thanks to their economic independence. The freedom they enjoy drives them away from marital responsibilities. The disintegration of the family system is at the root of rising rate of divorce. Therefore, Spain, Ukraine and Portugal witness the highest rate of divorce. In Portugal, hardly any marriage lasts longer. It can be inferred that developed countries have been grappling with the crisis of family cohesion or marital trust. The developed communities are devoid of communal cohesion and individuals feel loneliness. Those still in marriage, lack the warmth of trust because they prefer personal freedom to the happiness of the spouse. In the eastern society, the family structure is so strong that the members of the family make sacrifices and compromises to save the marriage because saving the marriage means saving the family. To the husband and wife, the welfare and future of their children is more important than their personal happiness or career. In India and Sri Lanka, family is the most important factor and the marriage is said to be solemnised in heaven. Therefore, marriage to them is sacrosanct. Family traditions and values are protected at any cost. Divorce is the last resort and therefore occurs rarely in the Hindu society. However, the Muslim society of Mauritania is an exception. In the Mauritanian society, divorce is not considered a tragic or sad event in the life of a woman, rather its an occasion for celebration. The divorced women in Mauritania see divorce as a new beginning and as homecoming. A celebration is held in her house to mark her divorce. Poets sing praise to her and her family members express their joy on her rejoining the family. She gets offers for marriage from men as she is seen as more matured and more experienced. On the whole, divorce has become more evident in the modern and developed society of the West and is not considered a retrograde practice of a particular religion. However, the divorce rate among the Muslims of the East has shown a rise because of the freedom and improvement in the economic condition of women in those countries. As more and more women are getting educated and becoming self -dependent, more and more Muslim women seek divorce. The statistics from Bangladesh and Pakistan show this trend. According to a survey conducted by Gallup and Gilani, divorce in Pakistan rose by 58 per cent in 2019. Algeria, Syria, Egypt and other Islamic countries also show the same trend. Social and economic disorders also give rise to divorce due to their effects on domestic affairs. The civil war in Syria gave rise to divorce rate in the country. Similarly, the pandemic lockdown was one of the causes of the rise in the divorce rate in Bangladesh. Therefore, the rise in divorce rate in both the East and the West is an indication of the disintegration of the family system globally and the growing lack of trust between the man and the woman. It is not a healthy trend for the humanity. ----- S. Arshad is a columnist with NewAgeIslam.com. URL: https://www.newageislam.com/islam-west/divorce-western-countries-stigma-solution-problem/d/133080 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism