The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition of Qur’anic Guidance in Its Own Words - Part Nine

By Muhammad Yunus, New Age Islam (Co-author (Jointly with Ashfaque Ullah Syed), Essential Message of Islam, Amana Publications, USA, 2009) 21 April 2025 Section-9. Phased Introduction of Marriage Laws. Man-woman relationship – sexual and otherwise, has changed constantly with progress of civilization and a man’s perception of a woman – whether as an object of sex or a colleague in a gender neutral job or the centre of a family with the pivotal role of running the household, raising the family and supporting her husband and his extended family or just having filial ties with the next of kin. 90. Foundational Role of Men and Women in Wedlock. Since these roles are highly varied and specific to culture and gender dynamics of any given society it’s a vast domain that can assume innumerable patterns without arriving at a clear or singular model The Qur’an summarizes the role of marriage in the following simple but deeply touching and cogent pronouncement: • “And among His signs is that He has created for you, of yourselves, spouses (Azwaj), that you may console yourselves (Litaskanu) with them, and (He) has set love and mercy between you. There are signs in this for a people who reflect” (30:21). On the obvious reproductive role of marriage, the Qur’an says: • “It is He who created you from a single person, and made its spouse from it, so he might find comfort in her. When he mates with her, she carries a light burden that she can hardly feel. When it becomes heavy, they pray to Allah, their Lord, “If You grant us a healthy child, we will surely be among the grateful” (7:189). With this short preamble, we explore the Qur’an for its gender dynamics and evolution of marriage laws: 91. The Qur’an Recommends Monogamy As A Social Norm But Does Not Mandate It The Qur’an furnishes the following illustrations to support monogamy as a social norm: • Wherever it refers to the wives of other prophets, such as those of Abraham (11:71, 51:29), Noah (66:10) Lot (11:81, 15:60, 29:33, 66:10) Imran (3:35), Job (38:44), and Zakaria (3:40, 21:90), it is suggestive of each Prophet having one living wife. • The Qur’anic word zauja for spouse denotes a pair: one each of opposite sex. Thus Adam’s spouse is referred to in the singular (2:35, 7:19, 20:117), and the two of them are referred to as a pair (2:36, 7:20-22, 20:121). • The Qur’an’s reference to the wives of its other characters, such as Pharaoh (28:9, 66:110), the Egyptian nobleman who had bought Joseph (12:21, 12:23-26) and Abu Lahab (111:4) are suggestive of each having one living wife. • The Qur’anic inheritance laws (75 above) refer to the shares of sons and daughters (4:11), two or more daughters (4:11), brothers and sisters (4:176), two sisters (4:176), more than two brothers and sisters (4:12), implying the plurality of each of these family members. But in the case of a widow, the inheritance is reciprocal with the husband (4:12), which admits of a man leaving behind one widow as a social norm. • The Qur’anic permission to a woman who just lost her husband, to avail of a year’s maintenance and lodging at her deceased husband’s home (2:240) is suggestive of a man leaving behind one widow: • Those of you who die and leave behind wives should leave a will providing one year’s maintenance without forcing them to leave. However, if they choose to leave, there is no blame on you for what they decide for themselves. Allah is All-Powerful, All-Wise (2:240). These Qur’anic illustrations clearly show that the Qur’an espouses a monogamous society as a social norm. This view was propounded as early as the third century of Islam and is shared by many eminent Islamic scholars, notably Yusuf Ali, and Ameer Ali. Muhammad Asad and Husayn Haykal refer to the conditional clause of the verse 4:3 and observe that such plural marriages are allowed only in ‘exceptional circumstances.’ 91. In Historical Perspective, Mandating Monogamy Would Have Been A Gender Curse. In broad historical perspective, only menfolk took part in trading missions or other civil, political or military assignments leaving their wives behind, as journey to distant lands was hazardous and took long. These men, living away from their wives for months and sometimes years, needed women to meet their physical, emotional and biological needs on a day-to-day basis – with peaking demands at times of sickness and travails. Strict monogamy in such a setting would have inevitably led such travellers to take the services of women – at least under compelling circumstances - without entering into the bond of marriage resulting in gross exploitation of women folk and concomitant social vices. Even otherwise, a man's wife may be permanently impaired from discharging her marital role because of ill health, accident etc. Strict monogamy would prevent any second marriage of a man with a disabled wife, and inevitably drive him either to divorce her and remarry, or to keep a mistress with no marital responsibilities. In either case, the injustice to womenfolk, and to the society as a whole, would been far greater than if the man was to take a second wife, and maintain his first disabled wife as well. Ultimately, the debate surrounding monogamy versus polygamy often comes down to a question of values, ethics, and individual or cultural beliefs about the nature of romantic and familial relationships. It's crucial to approach these discussions with empathy and respect for diverse perspectives, acknowledging that what works for one person or group may not be the same for another. 92. The Qur’an Permits Restrictive Polygamy Under Exceptional Circumstances In the course of the revelation, many men were killed in battles resulting in a disproportionate rise in the number of women, many of whom were orphaned. For the permanent settlement of these women, the Qur'an allowed Muslim men to marry up to four orphaned women provided they treated them with equity (‘Adl) and justice (Qist), but otherwise only one of them, or a female under their lawful trust (4:3). • “If you fear that you cannot do justice (qist) by the orphans, marry women who please you - two or three or four; but if you still fear that you cannot treat (them) equitably (‘Adilu), then only one, or (marry) someone under your lawful trust. Then it is most likely that you will not act unjustly” (4:3). In a later verse (4:127), the Qur’an admonishes the early Muslims for their selfish desire to marrying the orphaned women under their trust, and discourages them from marrying more than one woman, as they could never treat them equitably (4:129). • “They consult you about (the laws) concerning women. Say: ‘Allah enlightens you about (the laws) concerning them in what is (already) conveyed to you in this divine Writ (Ki tab) about female orphans (under your charge,) to whom you do not give as prescribed for them, though you desire to marry them; and about the helpless children; and that you must support the orphans justly (Bi Al-Qiste).’ (Remember,) whatever good you do, surely Allah is fully Aware of it” (4:127). • “You will never be able to treat (more than one) wife equitably (‘adilu), however eager you may be; and so do not be completely partial, so as to leave her in suspense. But if you reconcile and are heedful (given to Taqwa), Allah is Most Forgiving and Merciful” (4:129). The Qur’an’s endorsement of restrictive polygamy under special circumstances (4:3 above) cannot however be dismissed as outdated or era specific. With explosive growth of human population and constantly changing human conditions and relations – each of the 2-3 billion adult humans today present countless scenarios of man-woman relationships. Barring exceptions, many testing scenarios could offer ground for restrictive polygamy. This does not mean that every man will succumb to his polygamous instinct in his fidelity test but it definitely calls for ethical and moral considerations in these situations. 93. Sexual Freedom Without Any Coercion in Wedlock. The Qur’an allows men sexual freedom in wedlock (2:223) but attaches social and moral strings to its seemingly unqualified though nuanced permission. • “Your wives are a field of yours. So approach your field as you please, but take steps for yourselves, and heed Allah (Wattaqullah), and know that you will meet Him (on the Day of Judgment); and give good news to believers” (2:223). Addressed to menfolk, this pronouncement combines the sanction of freedom in physical conjugal relations with spirituality (observing Taqwa) and concludes with a reminder of an ultimate meeting with Allah. However, as for the underlined statement, Abul Kalam Azad has interpreted it (rendered below from Urdu) as suggestive of containing family size: Tarjuman al-Qur’an, 1931; reprint New Delhi 1989, Vol.2, p. 182.] • “…Take steps for yourselves (make necessary arrangements for the coming of your offspring.) …” The Qur’an features two other verses on the subject: • 2:187 allows conjugal intimacy after breaking the fast during the month of Ramadan. • 2:222 (below) forbids conjugal intimacy when women are in their monthly courses., The spiritual underpinning of the verse 2:223 calls for kindness, understanding and consent, in conjugal sexual relations. However, any open-ended sanction to a woman to avoid sexual relation with her spouse could cause him grave frustrations and militate against the very object of marriage – a legal sanction for sexual relation. 94. The Qur’an Forbids Marriage with The Mushrikin As the revelation progressed an increasing number of pagan couples or either of their spouses converted to Islam. As for any pagan Arab, referred to as Mushrik in the Qur’an conversion to Islam meant renouncing of tribal customs and ties. This entailed a drastic change in his social, cultural and religious values, daily chores, traditional rituals, living ways and method of worship. This also broke the tribal solidarity (Asabiyya) that integrated the members of a tribe into a cohesive unit somewhat like belonging to a close-knit family. This also caused enormous rift and growing disharmony in the society including the breaking of marriages. The Qur’an had to restore harmony in the society under the ambit of a new unified order of Islam that was free from any tribal or hierarchical division and treated all citizens on equal footing. To implement the vision of a unified Muslim community, the Qur’an prohibited the followers of the Prophet from marrying those who did not convert to Islam and declares: • “Do not marry (Tankihu) women who associate (others with Allah), until they believe (in Allah). A believing maidservant is better than a woman, who associates (others with Allah,) even if she allures you. Do not marry men who associate (others with Allah) until they believe (in Allah). A believing male-servant is better than a man who associates (others with Allah,) even if he allures you. They invite you to hellfire, whereas Allah invites you to the garden and to forgiveness by His Grace, and clarifies His messages to people, that they may reflect” (2:221). This ordinance was a historical necessity to establish Islam an historical reality for without this decree, the pagans would have remained an integral part of Arab’s demography even after the Prophet passed away. And soon thereafter, they would have collaborated with other enemies of Islam and created enormous obstacles in its path putting its survival at stake. Anyway, no need to speculate on this impossible proposition for the establishment of Islam was an ultimate truth of human civilization that could not be averted no matter what course it took. 95. Muslim Men and Women to Choose Their Own Spouses The Qur'an uses identical expression (2:221/94 above) in phrasing its permission to men and women regarding choosing a spouse and admiring a suitor. A Muslim woman’s prerogative to choose her own mate is also demonstrated by the absence of any reference to her father or guardian from practically all the Qur’anic verses on marriage and divorce. Besides, the Qur’an assigns them the role of mutual guardianship: • “The believing men (Mu’minin) and the believing women (Mu’minat) are the guardians (Awliya’) of each other: they enjoin the good and forbid the evil; they keep up prayer and give charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. They are those on whom Allah will have mercy. (Remember,) Allah is Almighty, Wise” (9:71) 96. Muslim Men to Marry Any Believing Women Towards the concluding phase of revelation, the Qur’an gives explicit permission to Muslim men to marry from among the ‘People of the Book' (Jews and Christians), or those who believe in One Allah (Mu’minat). • “This day (all) good things are made lawful for you. The food of those to whom Scripture was given is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them; and so are chaste believing women (Mu’minat), and chaste women from among those (who have been) given the Scripture before you - after you give them their dowers (and take them in wedlock) as chaste women, not in lewdness, nor as secret love-companions. Anyone who rejects faith (in Allah), his deed is in vain, and he will be among the lost ones in the hereafter” (5:5). The verse does not require women from among the believers in Allah (Mu’minat), and the people ‘to whom Scripture was given’ (Jews and Christians in the context of the revelation) to embrace Islam while marrying Muslim men. Thus, there are plenty of examples in Islamic history of believing non-Muslim women (non-Muslim women who however believe in God) marrying Muslim men and living together with their privileges enhanced, and religions unchanged, unless they opted to become Muslims. The verse does not bar Muslim women from marrying believers in Allah (mu’minin) or from among the ‘People of the Book’. But historically this has not happened conceivably because a Muslim woman would stand to lose all her Qur’anic privileges as well as individual legal status by marrying a non-Muslim believer (mu’min) – who could also compel her to adopt his faith as no monotheistic region other than Islam admits of any kind of inter-faith marriage. However, with the permeation of Islamic values across the global multi-religious communities and the remoteness of the Qur’anic ideals from many Islamic societies, the table has turned and there have been cases of interfaith marriages between Muslim women and believing non-Muslim men. 97. The Qur’an Abolishes Incest and Unwedded Intimacy. The verse 4:23 tables a detailed list of blood relations with whom marriage is not allowed, 4:24 prohibits marriage with a married woman, while 4:25 allows marriage with a believing bondmaid. The prohibition is spelled out in detail in the long passage 4:22-25 which is omitted from this review as there is no controversy or divergence of view on the subject today as was the case in pre-Islamic era through to the early stage of revelation. The inquisitive can consult any standard translation of the Qur’an to access the referenced verses – but he must read the passage closely to avoid any misinterpretation of Qur’anic message as laid out in its highly nuanced diction or consult the author’s primary publication ‘Essential Message of Islam’ (the link is referenced on the opening page.) 98. The Qur’an Does Not Support Marriage Of Minors The Qur’anic directive to men and women to choose their own mate (2:221/94 above) implies that they should marry after reaching a matured age, when they should be in a position to take a decision on the choice of a spouse. The Qur’anic injunctions on the obligations and privileges of men and women in conjugal bond (reviewed later) also indicate that both men and women have to attain a level of maturity to comprehend and implement their respective roles. Finally, the opening injunction of the verse 4:6, “test the orphans until they reach marriageable age,” 4:6, 51 above), is explicit about the notion of a ‘marriageable age’ that is not supportive of marrying off minors. Thus, the Qur’anic illustrations are clear in support of a marriageable age for both the sexes. 99 Menstruation The Qur’an removes all taboos against menstruation. It refers to it as a mere inconvenience, a discomfort, and asks men not to approach women for conjugal relations during their menstruation. • “They ask you (O Muhammad) about menstruation. Say: ‘It is a physical discomfort (Adha). So, do not approach them until they are physically sound. And when they are physically sound, you may approach them as Allah has ordained for you.’ Indeed! Allah loves the penitent and loves those who purify themselves” (2:222). Given the purely natural reason for women’s periods, the variation of its intensity among women depending upon their health and mental conditions, age and the difficulty in their maintaining personal hygiene depending upon availability and cost of sanitary materials the Qur’an had to leave it to individual women to go through it as best as they could manage depending upon available resources. The Prophet allowed Asma, the wife of Abu Bakr to participate in the farewell hajj less than a fortnight after her delivery that occurred when she was on way to Mecca (from Medina) in the hajj caravan that the Prophet was leading himself. She was obviously in the state of menstruation. 1] The Prophet is also reported to have told Aisha when she got into her period before entering Mecca that Allah had decreed it for all women, so she could perform all the ceremonies like the rest except for the Tawaf around the Kaba.”2] 1. Lings, Martin (Abu Bakar Siraj al-Din), Muhammad, George Allen and Unwin, U.K. 1983. p.332. 2. Sahih al-Bukhari, English translation by Mohsin Khan, New Delhi, 1984, Vol.7, Acc. 56 100. Men to Give Women Dower At The Time Of Marriage The Qur’an states: • “Give women their dower as a gift (Saduquat), but if they voluntarily favour you with anything from it, take it and enjoy it in good spirit” (4:4). The dower marks a man’s commitment to take the financial responsibility of his wife, and accordingly it should be of a substantive value, as underscored by the underlined waiver clause. There are traditions on marriage being contracted, in case of extreme scarcity, over the symbolic remittance of a Qur’anic memorized Sura, an iron ring, or gold equal to the weight of a date-stone. The Qur’an, however, cites the generous example of a fortune, (4:20), that obviously reflects its concern and respect for women. • “If you want to take one wife in place of another wife, and you had given one of them a fortune - do not take anything away from it. Would you take it by slander (committing) an open sin (4:20)? How can you take it back when you have given yourselves to each other, and they have taken a firm pledge from you” (4:21)? However, to avoid any injustice to a man who may have gifted much of his possessions to his wife, the Qur’an asks the woman under divorce to release a part of what she might have received from her husband if she felt that she was going beyond the limits set by Allah (2:229). • “…..if you do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep within the limits set by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she gives up (something to her husband) for her freedom. These are the limits set by Allah; do not exceed them - for any who exceed the limits set by Allah, it is they who are unjust” (2:229) 101. Women Are Entitled to Independent Income The Qur'an recognizes the distinct individualities of men and women in marriage, granting each the right to their independent earnings. • “Do not desire what Allah has favoured in different measures to each of you - men are to have a portion of what they have earned, and women are to have a portion of what they have earned. Ask therefore Allah of His bounty, and (remember,) Allah is fully Aware of everything” (4:32). This verse emphasizes that both men and women are entitled to their earnings, fostering a sense of personal responsibility while encouraging the sharing of resources within the family, particularly with parents and the needy. This guidance on sharing underscores the Qur'anic principles of fairness and mutual support, which are crucial in ensuring harmony within the family unit. In today's context, where an increasing number of women are earning, this verse remains highly relevant. It challenges traditional notions of sole ownership and promotes a balanced approach where both spouses are encouraged to share their resources, irrespective of the disparity in their income levels. Such an understanding can prevent conflicts that arise from financial secrecy or inequality, thus fostering the Qur'anic ideal of mutual guardianship (9:71/ 95 above). This approach, grounded in the wisdom of the Qur'an, offers a path to peace and harmony in marriage, encouraging spouses to act with mutual respect and responsibility, ensuring that financial differences do not undermine the foundation of the family. 102. Role Of Men And Women In Wedlock The Qur’an declares: • “Men are the supporters of (their) wives because Allah has favored each of them in different measures and because of what they spend (for them) of their wealth. The righteous women are devout and guard the unseen that Allah would have them guard. As for those (women), of whom you fear immoral (extramarital) behaviour, counsel them, leave them (alone) in their beds and admonish them; but if they listen to you, do not seek a way against them. (Remember,) Allah is Sublime, Great” (4:34). Most commentators have interpreted the verse in a patriarchal manner that I) admits of a man’s superior and commanding role, and a woman’s inferior and subordinate role in marriage and ii) empowers a man to beat an allegedly wayward or disobedient wife Our interpretation is based on the textual scrutiny of the Qur’an and does not i) accord any superiority to a man above the woman ii) does not ask a woman to be obedient to the husband - it asks them to be devout (devoted to Allah), and does not permit beating of a wife on any ground. In one word, it dismisses any superior or commanding role of a husband over his wife and assigns them the role of mutual guardians not (9:71/95 above).: Essential Message of Islam: A Pioneering Work by Quran Exegetes Muhammad Yunus & Ashfaque Ullah Syed (Full Text exclusively available on NewAgeIslam.com) 103. Role of Arbitration to reconcile estranged espouses. Reverting to the verse 4:34 (102 above), in the event the recommended counselling and verbal disciplining does not help, the Qur’an says: • “If you (the community) fear breach between the two, appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family. If they wish reconciliation, Allah will unite them. Indeed! Allah is All-Knowing and Informed” (4:35). Thus, read together the verses 4:34 and 4:35 (the passage 4:34/35) spell out the roles of men and women in wedlock, the measures to be taken if a man suspect his wife of immoral behaviour, and recommends arbitration as the final step for settling conjugal disputes. In a later verse, the Qur’an prescribes the course of action for the reverse situation, and declares: • “If a wife fears immoral (extramarital) behaviour (Nushuz) or desertion I‘rad) from her husband, there is no blame on either of them if they mutually settle (the matter) amicably. Such settlement is best, though (our) souls are (drawn to) greed. But if you do good, and are heedful (active in Taqwa), (remember,) Allah is Informed of what you do” (4:128). If the breach persists and the peace and stability of the family is destroyed, the Qur’an allows for the termination of a marriage (4:130). Since this is an extremely painful decision that can also have serious financial implications for the financially dependent partner of the marriage, the Qur’an declares: • “And yet if they do separate, Allah will provide each out of His Abundance, for Allah is Boundless (in resources) and Wise” (4:130). To maintain gender justice, the Qur’an also empowers women with unilateral right of separation by returning to the husband a part of gifts or dowry she might have received from him as reviewed earlier (verse 2:229/100 above). 104. The Qur’an overrules any notion of male superiority. The Qur’an invests married men and women with the role of mutual guardians or protectors (9:71/ 95 above). The Qur’an also offers the following clear and undeniable illustrations to overrule any notion of male superiority or female inferiority in wedlock: • It acknowledges the position of a head of state by a woman, ruling discretely by consultation through her chieftains, and later embracing the true faith (27:32, 27:44). • It does not blame a woman for any of man’s infirmities, vices or misfortunes. Thus for example, it blames both Adam and his spouse (and not the latter alone, as mentioned in the Bible) for their temptation by Satan and their primordial fall from Paradise. (2:36, 7:20-22) In sum, the notion of male superiority has no Qur’anic basis, and the various demeaning accounts on women’s inferiority appearing in the secondary theological literatures are no more than myth. To the contrary, the Qur’an privileges a woman over a man spiritually in her venerated role in the final stage of creative process: • “O Humankind! Heed your Lord who created you from a single self (nafs) and created from it its spouse (Zauja), and scattered from the two countless men and women. Heed Allah through whom you seek (your mutual rights) and (heed) the wombs (Arham). Indeed Allah is ever watchful over you (4:1). 105. Paradox Of Linking Islam With Misogynistic Customs Some Muslim communities have retained the6r pre-Islamic misogynistic customs, notably triple divorce, Halala, honour killing and female genital mutilation (FGM), legitimizing them by some weak traditions and controversial law school rulings. These are not supported by any verse of the Qur’an, or its collective message and it will serve no purpose to discuss them in this honest exposition of Qur’an’s message which is free from any cultural, doctrinal or pre-Islamic influences. At an early stage of the revelation, the Qur’an abolished female infanticide (45 above) that was practiced by some Arab tribes. But as Islam entered new cultures and domains some local un-Islamic customs inevitably found their way into it – these are scums of history – like terrorism in the name of Islam and bound to disappear with time. Also Read (Previous Parts): The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition Of Qur’anic Guidance In Its Own Words - Part One The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition Of Qur’anic Guidance In Its Own Words - Part Two The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition Of Qur’anic Guidance In Its Own Words - Part Three The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition Of Qur’anic Guidance In Its Own Words - Part Four The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition Of Qur’anic Guidance In Its Own Words - Part Five The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition Of Qur’anic Guidance In Its Own Words - Part Six The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition Of Qur’anic Guidance In Its Own Words - Part Seven The Qur’an – Nurun ‘Ala Nur (Light Upon Light): An Exposition Of Qur’anic Guidance In Its Own Words - Part Eight ----- Muhammad Yunus, a Chemical Engineering graduate from Indian Institute of Technology, and a retired corporate executive has been engaged in an in-depth study of the Qur’an since early 90’s, focusing on its core message. He has co-authored the referred exegetic work, which received the approval of al-Azhar al-Sharif, Cairo in 2002, and following restructuring and refinement was endorsed and authenticated by Dr. Khaled Abou El Fadl of UCLA, and published by Amana Publications, Maryland, USA, 2009. URl: https://www.newageislam.com/books-documents/quran-nurun-ala-nur-exposition-quranic-part-nine/d/135240 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism