Why Some People Leave Their Religion

By Naseer Ahmed, New Age Islam 21 May 2024 There may hardly be a person who has lived long enough not to have experienced a period of doubt and estrangement from religion. Some leave their religion quietly, and others find their way back, while some become active opponents of their former religion. This diversity of experiences underscores the importance of understanding and introspection in our spiritual journeys. The most common causes of estrangement from religion are discussed below: 1. Socialization Western education has no place for God and religion and is completely secular. It is not cool to be religious. Atheism is in fashion. In the West, to question the Bible is the hallmark of critical thinking, and if you don’t, then you are a blind believer. This is understandable because the Bible has many defects and contradictions, being an edited compilation of four Gospels while more than a score of Gospels were relegated to the Apocrypha. Muslims, without any understanding of the Quran and the difference from the Bible, ape their Western society and think that the mere act of questioning the Quran makes them critical thinkers, not knowing that the Quran is without a defect or contradiction. There is a deep prejudice in the West against all Muslims, who they think are socially and culturally backward, bordering on being barbaric savages. Muslims in the West trying to assimilate play down their Muslim identity by eschewing all symbols of their identity, including their religiosity. In contrast, others firmly grounded in their religion react to these prejudices by openly and proudly flaunting their religious identity. The accepted wisdom among the elite everywhere is that a belief in God is irrational and atheism or scepticism is derived from a rational, no-nonsense appraisal of the way things are. Those from humble backgrounds trying to move up the social ladder are especially vulnerable to the pressure to discard their religion to be comfortable in the new, exciting, glamorous, secular world into which they are trying to move. This motive has strongly influenced the lives of countless upwardly mobile young people in the last two centuries. 2. Personal Convenience For society's elite, personal convenience is a significant factor in moving away from their religion. Being religious requires devoting plenty of time to Prayer, Fasting, Reading the Scriptures, attending mosques/churches/temples, Paying Zakat/Charity, performing pilgrimage, etc. The elite are busy making money, playing power games, and trying to move up the social ladder. They have no time or inclination for religion. 3. Temptations For the rich and the privileged, it is impossible to be a serious believer in today's powerful secular and neo-pagan world of sexual permissiveness, nudity, pornography, and the availability of partners and toys to indulge in sexual fantasies. In this environment, giving up the pleasures of sexual indulgences, drinking and eating what is prohibited by religion is impossible for most. The enormous success of Jeffrey Epstein's "Paedophile Island" in the Caribbean, attracting the rich, famous and powerful elite of the world, is testimony of the temptations of sexual escapades forbidden by religion. People in positions of power cannot resist becoming corrupt for personal gain. It is far too uncomfortable for such people to believe in their religion and God, which warns them of eternal punishment in the Hereafter for indulging in what is prohibited. They find comfort in Philosopher Fredrick Nietzsche, who declared that God is dead. If either there is no God or religion is man-made, then morality is a matter of personal choice. Conforming to your elite society's moral ethos is sufficient to feel good. It is also necessary to be accepted in your elite circles. It may be noted that moving away from religion because of personal convenience has to do with the state of one's will, not with a lack of conviction in God and your religion. However, after years of rationalising their behaviour, they believe the lies they told themselves. 4. Sexual Orientation In today’s permissive society, with affirmative action for the LGBQT community and wide acceptance of people with different sexual orientations, it is easy for people with sexual orientations other than heterosexual to find fault with their religion, which is unaccepting of such behaviour. Till only about 300 years ago, infant mortality among humans was higher than among baboons, besides large-scale killing in wars. Understandably, religion strongly disapproved of all other sexual orientations except heterosexuals to ensure the survival of the species. This is taken to an extreme by religious leaders, although the Quran does not speak of any punishment in the Hereafter for it while strongly disapproving of such behaviour. 5. Theodicy The common cause of disillusionment with religion is the inability to resolve the questions, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” and, at the personal level, “Why did this happen to me? What wrong did I do to deserve this?” Or simply because ardent desires remain unfulfilled even though one prays fervently. They wonder as Ghalib did: क्या वो नमरूद की ख़ुदाई थी, बंदगी में मिरा भला न हुआ Kya Wo Namrud Ki Khudai Thi? Bandagi Mein Mera Bhala Na Hua Religious counsellors spend considerable time with people struggling with these issues. The answers to these questions are found in the stories of the prophets who strove against heavy odds with patience and faith, suffering many hardships, deprivations and tribulations before achieving success. The answers to these questions are also in explicit verses. For many, this is a period of learning and understanding closely Allah’s nature or Zaat and coming closer to Allah. Those brought up on a loose foundation of religious teachings are likely to drift away. 6. Disillusionment Based On The Corrupt And Immoral Behaviour Of Religious Leaders The reasons cited above are relatively superficial, and the people can overcome the pressures and return to religion after drifting for a few years or decades. The people most likely to find their way back are those who remain steadfast in following their moral principles while neglecting their religion for reasons of convenience or theodicy. The deeper and more lasting reason for people not just leaving their religion but apostatising, meaning turning hostile to the religion of their father, is psychological. 7. The Psychology of Atheism: The Theory of Defective Father Psychoanalysis has taught us the intimate connection between the father complex and belief in God. It has shown us that the personal God is logically nothing but an exalted father. It demonstrates daily how young persons lose their religious belief when the father's authority breaks down (Leonardo da Vinci, 1910, 1947 p. 98). Once a child or youth is disappointed in and loses respect for their earthly father, belief in their heavenly Father becomes impossible. There are, of course, many ways that a father can lose his authority and seriously disappoint a child. Some of these ways, supported by clinical evidence, are given below: 1. He can be present but weak, cowardly, and unworthy of respect- even if otherwise pleasant or "nice." 2. He can be present but physically, sexually, or psychologically abusive. 3. He can be absent through death or by abandoning or leaving the family. (The above is an excerpt from a paper by Professor Paul C. Vitz, Department of Psychology, New York University) Those who turn against their father’s religion and lose no opportunity to run it down are deriving psychological satisfaction from spiting their father. Not everyone with a “defective” father turns out to be an apostate, nor is it an incurable condition. An apostate who can recognise the source of the problem and is mature will shed the bitterness and come around. However, if multiple causes co-exist, this may become impossible unless a person makes conscious efforts, even against his will. My article, cited below, shows how to cure oneself of apostasy if there is a will to do so. Prevention and Cure for Apostasy ----- A frequent contributor to NewAgeIslam.com, Naseer Ahmed is an Engineering graduate from IIT Kanpur and is an independent IT consultant after having served in both the Public and Private sector in responsible positions for over three decades. He has spent years studying Quran in-depth and made seminal contributions to its interpretation. URL: https://www.newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/muslims-religion-theodicy-quran-bible-gospel/d/132356 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism