Praise Shames Me, For I Secretly Beg For It!

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam 26 February 2024 One of the most beautiful quotes that I've ever come across while diving into the ocean of world literature in several languages, is Rabindranath Tagore's 'Praise shames me, for I secretly beg for it.' While scholars of Persian mysticism find a semblance of similarity when Hafiz Shirazi says, "I ask for criticism, but long for admiration," such uncanny similarities cannot always be called plagiarism. Great minds often think alike. Coming back to Tagore's thought, juxtaposing it with Hafiz's quote for a greater impact, one must say that almost all humans secretly or blatantly ask for praise and feel snubbed even by a scintilla of criticism. "Ae Nujoomi Mujh Ko Faqat Achchhi Baatein Hi Bata/ Talkh Pesheengoyion Se Mujh Ko Na Dara" (Oh, clairvoyant, please tell me only the good things/ Don't scare me with bitter predictions), Behzad Lakhnavi is spot-on here. Even when we go to an astrologer to know our future, we subconsciously want to hear only the good things that might happen in the days and years to come. Negative predictions unnerve us. So, the whole shebang of fortune-telling is based on sugar-quoted predictions and the entire caboodle of human relationships hinges on (false) praise. Those who're conscientious like the aforementioned poets, might feel embarrassed to receive praise but they too feel good when someone admires them. The point is, should we never criticise and continue to praise even when it's not required? Tagore provides the solution: "Remove my warts and scars without hurting me." Praise is an elixir for every individual. It's an incentive to do better. While gentle criticism can bring about qualitative changes in an individual's life, genuine, not wholesome or unctuous, praise can bring about greater and more positive results. Psychologists are of the view that we want praise because that's a psychological booster for all of us. Nature has made us like that. English novelist J B Priestley aptly said, "She wasn't exactly beautiful. But she could have been prettier had someone kept telling her that she was beautiful." That's the essence of life. Praise works as a lubricant in every individual's life. It's a catalyst for growth, betterment and development. Henry Ford would always advise, "If you criticise once, praise twice." Offset criticism with praise is the golden rule that has transformed lives of innumerable individuals. Mirza Ghalib never had a mentor (Ustad) as an Urdu poet, though he had an Iranian mentor, whose name is still unknown, who 'rectified' his Persian poetry. While Ghalib was extremely confident of his Persian and even claimed that he used to dream in Persian, somewhere he knew that his Persian was a notch below the Central Asian Persian spoken and written by Hafiz, Attar, Rumi, Jami, Khaqani, Anwari among others. So, he required a mentor for his Persian poetry. That Iranian mentor praised Ghalib's Persian poetry but never forgot to add that Ghalib's Urdu was better than his Persian! "You could be the greatest in Urdu poetry but not-so-great in Persian poetry." In a calculated as well as subtle manner, he impressed upon Ghalib that he had better focus on his Urdu poetry rather than 'waste' time in writing convoluted Persian poetry, a language which didn't come to his linguistic self effortlessly the way Urdu came. By the way, the legendary British scholar of Urdu language and literature, Dr Ralph Russell shared this anecdote with me when I was pursuing my Doctoral research under his tutelage. This is the way, praise and (negative) feedback should be mixed to drive home the point. To sum it up in the words of Henry Wordsworth Longfellow, "Even when you continuously criticise, forget not to praise once or twice." ------ A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian. URL: https://newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/praise-shames-beg/d/131797 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism