When You're Miserable, You Envy Other People's Happiness

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam 6 October 2025 "When you are miserable, you envy other people’s happiness." Graham Greene, The End of the Affair , Chapter 1, pages 7-27 This statement recognizes a common human plight: the tendency to covet the joy of others when feeling low. It underscores how personal despair can lead to negative comparisons, fostering bitterness rather than gratitude. This insight reflects a deep-seated vulnerability many can relate to, emphasizing the importance of addressing one's own grief to avoid projecting negativity onto others. Ancient Roman poet Juvenal said almost the same thing, albeit in different words: People's so-called happiness increases your sadness. Your misery is always with respect to other people's perceived happiness. We're unhappy not because we've got less. We're unhappy because we often erroneously think that others are more happy and have got much more (than us). We all tend to compare. This is a basic human nature. But our misery increases this comparison all the more. Misery and inferiority complex go hand in hand. When one's miserable, one suffers from an inferiority complex. This inferiority complex deepens our jealousy for other people's happiness. To quote Urdu poet Ahsan Marahrvi, "Main Apne Toote Makaan Mein Bhi Khush Tha/ Malaal Tab Hua Jab Kisi Ka Aashiyana Dikh Gaya" (I was happy at my dilapidated house/But the moment I saw someone else's mansion, I became sad). Your misery or pain amplifies someone else's happiness and so-called good fortune and you feel down in the dumps. An unhappy and miserable person thinks that he's the only unhappy person in the world. All others are so happy and blessed. Jalaluddin Rumi puts it in perspective, " All are equally happy or equally unhappy." Seeing the Greek philosopher Diogenes in tatters with a broken bowl, someone asked him, did the other people's happiness and affluence ever affect him? The maverick Diogenese said, "First of all, I've never considered myself to be miserable. Secondly, the ostensible happiness of others doesn't affect me. Behind the veneer of their apparent happiness and wealth, there could be some hidden pain. So, I'm happy in my present state." The same happened to the great Buddhist scholar Nagarjuna, the proponent of Madhyam Marg or Middle Path. He roamed around in a loin cloth and never cared for wealth. Furthermore, he always looked blissfully happy. He'd often say, " You create your misery and become miserable. I create my state of bliss and become blissful. I've no time to envy others." This is stoicism, practised mainly by the Greek and Buddhist philosophers and also by the mystics like Rumi, Sattar, Sanai, Khaqani, Nizami, Jami, among others. Jami would often say, " What I've got is more than enough." Can anyone say this in this age when everyone thinks that what he has got is woefully inadequate? For us, a mere loaf of bread is not enough. We want jam on it! Happiness is a state of mind. So are misery and unhappiness. There's a beautiful quote in Hindi, Man Changa Toh Kathauti Mein Ganga (If the heart's happy, happiness is at your doorstep). Chasing happiness is a fool's errand. Always remember, if you think that someone else is much more happy and wealthy than you, you're also much more happy and wealthy to a lot many people. It's all on the mind because happiness or unhappiness are mere relative terms. To be happy and satisfied for what one's blessed and gifted with is the key and kernel to eternal happiness. ---- A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian. URL: https://www.newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/miserable-envy-people-happiness/d/137118 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism