Find A Home In Your Own Heart

By Sumit Paul, New Age Islam 9 August 2025 "If you've the ability to love, love yourself first." Charles Bukowski I've always loved this statement, "I never loved another person the way I loved myself." It reflects a sentiment of self-cherishment and individuality. It hints at the importance of self-love and finding fulfilment within oneself before seeking it in others. The author embraces an unabashed love for himself, suggesting that he has learned to prioritize his own needs and value his own worth. This quote serves as a reminder that personal growth and self-acceptance are essential ingredients for forming healthy and meaningful relationships with others. Ultimately, it highlights the significance of self-love as a foundation for happiness and fulfilment in life. Now the important question that arises is: Is loving oneself selfishness? Is self-love demeaning? It's NEVER. We are capable of loving others when we learn to love ourselves. There's an oft-quoted proverb in English: Charity begins at home. Love also begins at home and it blossoms through self-love. If the key to wisdom is to know thyself, the essence of universal love lies in loving oneself. It's not narcissism. It's the sublimation of love burgeoning from one's own self. It's the furtherance of self into selves. The whole world that we get to see and feel is our own reflection. It's our manifestation. All its creations are our extensions. Adi Shankar says that the world is our realization (Jagat Swa Adyapi Abhasam). To love oneself is to know oneself. It's the beginning of a deeper wisdom that we all have so many negative as well as positive facets and features. If we can love ourselves so deeply despite knowing that we have more negative aspects than the positive ones, why can't we extend the same love to others who also have the same negative as well as positive qualities? Self-love is not ego. Nor is it narcissistic. It's the seed of the tree of love. A tree will have no existence without a seed which is in oneself. It's been proven that a foreign language can never be mastered until one learns one's mother tongue. Likewise, universal love remains in books and ideas until one is in love with oneself. When Buddha was in a deep Samadhi (contemplation) to attain enlightenment, he didn't care for his body. One farmer advised him to love his own body because self-preservation leads to higher realisation. Buddha realised his mistake and first preserved his body for ultimate wisdom. We all have wild flowers in our backyard but we go to the garden to appreciate exotic flowers. This is useless. We must admire those flowers in our backyard that have blossomed on their own. In the same manner, the love that has always existed in our hearts, must be acknowledged before loving the world. Universal love begins with self-love. The journey begins from your threshold. Find a home in your own heart. Remember, the most powerful relationship you'll ever have is the relationship with yourself. Be you, love you. All ways, always. The universe took its time on every individual. That's the reason, every person is so unique and inimitable. This we realise when we genuinely appreciate our uniqueness and individuality. So, invest in yourself. When the universe is inside you, why should you care for the outside world? Our first and last love is self-love. Rumi says, "Tear off the mask, your face is glorious because you change the world by being yourself." It’s hard to feel desire when you don’t feel desirable. To encapsulate, if you wish to be loved, love (yourself). You're enough. ----- A regular columnist for New Age Islam, Sumit Paul is a researcher in comparative religions, with special reference to Islam. He has contributed articles to the world's premier publications in several languages including Persian. URL: https://www.newageislam.com/spiritual-meditations/home-own-heart/d/136445 New Age Islam, Islam Online, Islamic Website, African Muslim News, Arab World News, South Asia News, Indian Muslim News, World Muslim News, Women in Islam, Islamic Feminism, Arab Women, Women In Arab, Islamophobia in America, Muslim Women in West, Islam Women and Feminism